LDR

A few days ago, Mr. Philosophical asked me if I was ever in a long distance relationship. I said, 'almost'. It lasted a year and a half. Oh he was never mine to have nor me for him. I met him through a good friend using the wonders of modern telecommunications and information technology. A year and a half... So brief, so fleeting. LDR is not my thing and I like swimming against the tide. I always thought it wouldn't work. Maybe it was just fear at the great unknown, until he came. He would have been the first long distance relationship but for me it was a one-sided long distance love affair ^_^. I was willing to make all the sacrifices needed for it to work. But he did made me confused at a lot of things he still confuses me sometimes. It's just the way he is, a very sweet man who is so family oriented. There's so many things to like about him you know. Then it was gone... Looking back, it was more my own folly than his. You know, "great expectations", "grand delusions" and "too good to be true". Oh I don't regret the things that I did for him with or without him knowing it. I'm happy that we're still friends. It was a longish kinda ride both bumpy and fun.

Mr. Philosophical had just had his LDR ended. In the attempt to understand what went wrong I
struck up a convo with him. Why did I need to understand? Manila and Davao is not that far when you come to think of it; because she is a good friend and it pained me to see her heartbroken again. Most the things we talked about, I never told her. I don't want to be branded a tattle tale and I didn't think it was my business to sort out things for them. I read the poem he wrote for her on his blog. I can see that he is hurting too. The pain of long distance relationship is that the lack of physical intimacy. You ache to hold the beloved that you so miss everyday of your life but you just can't quite reach that person. No text, chat, or email can replace face to face contact. Then there's the synchronization of schedules. You're awake, she's not because you work the graveyard. How can you talk? Yap you come home once in a while but time flies so fast. It just doesn't feel enough. Of course they may have other reasons for calling it quits you know. Those things I don't intend to find out.

The challenge too keeping it alive despite the distance. I have two couple friends who took on that challenge. The first couple met when they were still in college. She went abroad to work as a nurse for years, came home to marry, went back to work. Husband wanted to follow but papers wouldn't cooperate. The second couple met through text. She works abroad too came home one time for their "eyeball" then left immediately to go back to work. He was really smitten and by the next time she came home, they were engaged before she left. The last time she was here, they got married. As soon as his papers were approved, he followed her. It takes courage and determination. I admire them for that. Yes, it does work. Proof is not only their marriage but their first born. Ahhh nice.