Aching Heart

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Today my heart is physically aching. I have difficulty breathing. 

I'm feeling it again. A feeling all too familiar, a feeling I don't want feel. The feeling of a heart being broken.

I am not in love. I know I do not love him in the romantic sense. I really don't. After the pain brought by the last relationship, I am at a point where I don't know what love is. Yet I am very much certain I do not love this guy romantically. He is not even expressing something romantically. We are close and yet far from each other.

I can't understand why I'm feeling this today after a misunderstanding. I really don't know what this is and no amount of logic is working right now. Perhaps this is because I care too much. Perhaps because he opened his life to me in his hunger for a kindred spirit. He was angry today of which I don't understand why. I know why but I don't understand why.

I cried again and again today. Now I am torn and so affected. I hate this feeling of vulnerability, fragility, pain. I hate it. I want it to go away.